Identity

A few days ago, after finishing Haruki Murakami’s thriller, After Dark, I began reading a book I received as a gift for my college graduation, Respect for Acting by Uta Hagen.  This is not only a must-read for all aspiring actors, but for all aspiring human beings.  You may challenge me with, But hey, Bry, I was born a human being.  I don’t need to aspire to be something that I clearly already am. Here’s where my blunt, put your ego to the curb personality shines through:

Just because you were born a human being doesn’t mean that you are living and breathing to your highest potential of your daily existence; this must be done fully and with as much determination as the blood in your very veins that works effortlessly and tirelessly to carry oxygen – the breath of life – to every crevice of your beautiful body.

Bryism #7.

Uta is a delightful writer.  She dedicated the entire first chapter to Identity, thus the inspiration for this post.  As I have said before, and I will continue to say this again and again, there must be a sense of urgency to want and to need to discover who you are. She says that in exploration,

We look for the ordinary rather than the extraordinary in our daily lives, and so the explorations of ourselves become smaller and of less importance as we go along.

Do not fall into the trap called CONFORMITY.  You have a unique DNA because you were born to be an exceptional human being…not like everyone else. If you find yourself doing a certain habit simply because it’s one you’ve acquired from those around you, then you are conforming to what is now normal and regular, and you are doing yourself a disservice.  Kick this habit to the curb.  Search deep within your soul to learn what FIRES you up, and then let it out for the whole world to see.  Trust me, you will be positively extraordinary.

Today I was playing in the Bleeker Street playground with the 3 cutest children, and this woman, the park ranger I guess, enters through the gate, smiling, gold tooth and all.  She is singing at the top of her lungs.  Little kids are running away, scared, and she continues singing, “You’ve Got a Friend”.  I thought she was absolutely fabulous.  Her happiness radiated and her intentions were pure.  I said, Work it girl.  Love the singing.  Never stop. And she came up to me and said,

You know, most people is scared of my singin’.  But I don’t care.  Cause I’m in the light.  They’s all livin’ in darkness.  But I’m in the light.

She knew who she was from the inside-out.  She had found her identity – her light.  And yes, her glow indicated that she was, in fact, in the light.

Do not allow a learned narcissistic ego to stop you from being the person that you truly are.  Selfishness and self-importance are masks we wear to hide insecurities. To be a complete person – not a half of a person constantly dreaming of finding your other half – no, I’m urging you to be a whole person as someone once beseeched me, you must be fully aware of your insecurities and then create a strategy to build a striking new you.

Take myself for example.  I used to be an over-achiever.  I set a goal to raise $500 for the American Cancer Society.  So by the time the Relay for Life came around, I raised $5,000, became the first Lawrence County Youth Representative for the ACS, and attended a Relay Rally at Penn State Main Campus, at the tender age of 16.  I wanted to be in a musical.  So my first musical ever I played “Dolly” in Hello, Dolly!.  I needed to have a healthy, fit body, so I worked out every morning at 5:30 AM and went to dance line practice every day after school – for an entire year.  My need to be better than everyone, even more literally, my desire to beat every person with whom I came in contact for the top prize, was the disguise I wore to hide my most feared insecurity: that I wasn’t the best dancer; that I wasn’t the best singer; that I wasn’t the best period. I thought the only reason why anyone loved me was because I was the best at everything.  If I failed, then I would consequently fail them.  Failing others, especially my family, was never an option.  It wasn’t until I came to NEW YORK CITY, after 18 years of sheer Pennsylvania hick-town torture, where I came to the conclusion that as long as I dedicate time every day to developing a deeper and more interesting me, one that is rich with the unique goodness that makes others say OH BRY THAT’S EXACTLY WHAT YOU WOULD SAY, then I am being the best me that I can possibly be – and there is no level of expectation or standard that I need to live up to, as long as my daily explorations are thorough and carefully tended.

I realized that I will never be the absolute best.  More importantly, I gained confidence that it’s okay that I will never be the Creme De La Creme.  Finally, this requisite to be perfect vanished.  I do not experience this particular pain anymore.  I welcome imperfections.  Digging deep to recognize this insecurity opened up a world of endless opportunities.  I would not be here today, writing to you, had I not made this discovery.

One thing you should know: I did not do it alone.  I have asked for help along the way from any and all who were willing to support my search for my own identity.  And you know me, I’m a solid supporter when it comes to reaching out for a hand.  I want you to expect that someone will firmly grab hold.  It may not be the person you imagined, but whoever it is, trust that they will pass you the torch of positivity.

To seem to want or need a mask behind which to bury one’s self often comes from a distrust in ourselves.  We harbor the suspicion that we ourselves are boring.

Uta is simply amazing!  How can you, a human being, the only species that can collectively think, act, react, communicate with sophistocation, express emotion, etc etc YOU KNOW WHAT YOU CAN DO, YOU’RE HUMAN!, be boring?!  It’s IMPOSSIBLE.  Can you be stale?  YES.  Can you be dried up?  Only if you let yourself get to that point. 

Identity people. What is yours?  How will you dedicate the necessary time solely to the exploration of YOU?  Do not choose an identity that someone else may bear – maybe he feels comfortable expressing himself in that fashion, or perhaps conformity is his own insecurity.  You are BETTER than that.  You are YOU and no one else can ever be YOU so you may as well be the most AMAZING YOU that this world will ever see…because honestly, there will never be another YOU.

Do not limit your sense of self and self-expression.  Cry if you want to cry.  Laugh flamboyantly amongst a congregation of Catholics if you so wish.  Hug and kiss in public: GET OVER IT PDA HATERS – IT’S YOUR OWN INSECURITY.  LOVE IS MEANT TO BE SHARED.  Release your emotions.  Embrace your inner child.

Stay Blessed,

Bry

Reveal the INNER YOU. Masks BE GONE! Express yourself. Learn to commit to your identity.

I’d like to give a special SHOUTOUT to a faithful reader and entertaining commenter – Drew McIntyre.  Drew, you start in my toes, make me crinkle my nose.  You’re bubbly, wherever you go.